In lockdown all our neighbours are generally keeping to themselves but I sense their energy like a constant buzz around me, not to mention sharing a house without let up. That external buzz of other people is a constant reminder that things are off and not really okay. It makes me value my own solitude more than ever, for the simple fact it’s almost impossible to achieve. I am working on remaining centred and doing positive things to keep my focus on wellbeing, though I just read tigers and lions have caught COVID-19 from humans at a Bronx zoo and that nearly broke my heart. As if tigers aren’t facing enough impact from us…. So I am dipping into news to get a general gist but that’s all. I can’t and don’t believe I should linger. Same goes for social media. Above maintaining minimal knowledge and interaction my expression again turns inward, which wasn’t what I had in mind for this year, but being self-restricted, turns out, is the wiser option for most of us. As an intuitive painter I already know how to tap into expressing myself, freeing what emotions and responses I have to life, so I’m gladly not totally mute or resorting to a creative straitjacket. I can dip into the process at any time, like I can and am meditating more.
My mind, body and spirit want calm, goodness, exercise, fruit. My body has decided it no longer craves treats and sweets, it wants to live a new kind of freedom within the constraints we face. It wants fresh air, sunshine and healthy choices. Lockdown has given it a chance to make me focus on what is really important: health and wellbeing, not feeding from external sources. Restraints are making me kick final habits and realise what I truly value. They are also showing the gifts and pleasures I can find in small doses. And when physical and social freedom is limited, nothing can remove or restrain the astonishing power of the imagination.
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December 2020
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